I went to a tropical beach with the intention of coming home re-made,
with no intention of controlling how.
To surrender to whatever would come to fill
the space I opened up for it.
I always intend to hang onto the luxurious feeling
in my heart, body and soul that I find on vacation,
but I don’t. Not for long.
The demands of life barge in on my deliciously relaxed state
not long after my body has landed on my home terrafirma.
Then I resign myself to the “reality” that I don’t have control
over how much of my time and focus those demands need,
or how pressured they make me feel.
I succumb to the belief that I have no power to feel
as deeply and luxuriously connected to my heart, body and soul
as I do on vacation because of all these demands.
That to-do lists come first, and pleasure comes second-
or whenever I get to the bottom of that to-do list.
As if.
Because my Masculine side-
the side that is brilliant at getting done what needs to be DONE-
has forgotten who it serves-
the Feminine side of me:
My heart, body and soul,
the seat of my inspiration,
the creativity of my LOVE.
I arrived in Troncones with the my iphone
downloaded with podcasts and pre-made posts-
all so I wouldn't lose my business productivity momentum.
So I wouldn’t lose.
LOSE.
Do you see that word?
That is a scarcity word right there.
But my Feminine side wasn’t having it.
My Feminine side was LIT UP by the beauty and sensuality of my tropical vacation.
And it was SHE who desired to surrender,
be penetrated, filled and re-made into something new.
Lo and behold, my Masculine side dropped its hustle agenda
and showed up in it’s most genius form:
as the champion of my Feminine side.
It led me to meditate to morning birds and pounding surf.
It supported my desire to spend my time how I liked
and to say no to how I didn’t-
even at the risk of disappointing others.
It prioritized my desire for the experience I wanted.
And then-
the inspiration of what I love was FED-
gloriously, luxuriously, sensually nourished.
I started getting ideas.
Creative idea after creative idea. Better ideas.
Inspired ideas replacing what I thought I should do,
with ideas of what I would LOVE to do.
We don't find our most inspired ideas marching step after step
in a straight line on the firm reality of our lives.
We find them when we soar over it on the wings of what we love.
And then we create the reality we desire.
I came home feeling re-made, and much more inspired,
productive and aligned with my work and my art.
I came home re-made by the decision to shift my priority
to self-care, finding and creating beauty,
to keeping the fires of the pleasure burning in my body
and to treat my senses to the delights of music,
color, movement and flavors.
I came home re-made by the desire to have even more trust
in the creative and productive power of my love,
desire and pleasure.
And to seek the sublime in every day.
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